In Your Dreams by Tom Holt

Author:Tom Holt [HOLT, TOM]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Fiction / Fantasy - Contemporary, Fiction / Humorous, Fiction / Satire
Publisher: Orbit
Published: 2012-09-04T04:00:00+00:00

JDCB? He had to think for a while before he figured it: Judy di Castel’Bianco. Vindictive cow, he thought. There was absolutely no way he was going to be able to wade through all that garbage in one afternoon. More to the point, it looked like he’d be there till midnight, at the very least. Still, it wasn’t as though he had any choice in the matter. If she wanted to put him in his place by giving him a double detention, she could do that. Bugger .

At half-past five, Paul’s attention was disturbed by scratching sounds at the door. The goblins were used to having the run of the place once the front door had been shut. The light on in his office was probably bugging the hell out of them. He scowled, took out the Sea Scouts badge and jerked the door open. Sure enough, on the other side were two or three goblins, crouched down where they’d been trying to peer through the keyhole.

‘Sorry, chaps,’ Paul said sternly. ‘This office is off limits for tonight.’ When the nearest goblin lifted its head and growled at him, he stuck out his hand with the badge in it, and slowly opened his fingers. The result was instantaneous and really rather pleasing. He’d heard the expression falling over each other in their haste many times, but he hadn’t realised before what an amusing spectacle it could be. Grinning broadly, he shut the door.

Six o’clock; six-thirty; seven. He was tired, and hungry, and very, very bored, and he was still only just over halfway through. He felt a yawn bubbling up inside him, like a belch of lava welling up from the magma level into the throat of a volcano. Can’t fall asleep, he told himself, can’t go sleep, got to finish or be here all night —

The pile of Mortensen printouts was actually rather comfortable to rest one’s head on. The infinite layers formed a wonderful laminated cushion. A bright spark could make money patenting . . .

Paul could see the office very clearly, which was odd since he knew his eyes were closed. He could see himself, zizzing happily. He looked so peaceful like that, he decided, it’d be a crime to wake him.

The door opened; but not the boring old everyday door in the door frame. This door appeared suddenly out of the wall, and it looked rather familiar. I know that door, he thought, I’d know it anywhere. A door that appears out of nowhere, coming through the wall. When is a door not a door? Easy—

But that was odd too, because he’d lent Ricky Wurmtoter the Acme Portable Door, his wonderful secret get-out-ofmortal-peril-free gadget; and Ricky had got himself captured. Maybe this was Ricky coming home, with Benny and Monika.

Wrong. The door swung open wide; an arm reached out through it, and wedged it open with a thick heavy book, which Paul recognised as the office-procedures manual. It wasn’t a particularly frightening arm; it wasn’t green and scaly or grey with shrivelled skin clinging to the bone.

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